It’s better to be alone than to be lonely with someone else
“My parents thinks I’m lonely”, I said to my friend, “I don’t think they understand that being alone is a choice, not a sadness.”
“My parents thinks I’m lonely”, I said to my friend, “I don’t think they understand that being alone is a choice, not a sadness.”
Lunar new year was only a couple of days ago and the hot topic of the day was my relationship status. My parents, grandparents, and all my relatives from Vietnam called in to wish me success in my career, and most importantly, luck in “tình duyên”. This means love or rather, fated love.
This sentiment started sometime last year when I turned 27 and it left me wondering: What about my stable career, independence, and self-sufficiency suggests that I’m either unhappy or would be happier with another person? I can understand how my choices and lifestyle would have seemed strange 50 years ago but times are different now.
I know my family means well but in today’s world where you can find a match and get instant gratification at the swipe of your finger, I’d argue that it’s better to be alone than to be lonely with someone else. I know, because I’ve been there. I’ve been in that relationship where I questioned everyday why I’m even with this person. It was the loneliest year of my life. Reflecting back, it was through this experience that I truly gained an appreciation for my independence and solitude. It’s my mission now to protect it.
Nowadays when these topics come up, I would just laugh it off and steer the discussion towards what truly matters: my career, noted, and the random shit throughout the day that makes me laugh and cry tears of joy.
That’s not to say I’m not open to finding tình duyên. I’m curious and patiently looking forward to the day where I meet this special person who can inspire me to want a life besides myself. Hopefully, it’ll be at a cafe where the coffee is strong and the view is beautiful.